I find people on Tumblr more attractive than people in real life.
and because of this, i have high standards
dontworryifightdirty:stephaniefarber:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Why hello there
You: i have a secret
Stranger: Can I hear it
You: you promise not to tell alex gaskarth
Stranger: I promise
You: okay well…
You: i killed his girlfriend lisa ….WITH A KNIFE.
You: because my friend told me too.
You: & now I don’t know what to do….
You: her body is next to me… but i don’t know what to do with it…
You: help?
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: So
Stranger: Get your friend to come over
Stranger: You prop her up on a couch
Stranger: You sit beside her,
Stranger: Get your friend to take a picture while you do “THUMBS UP”
Stranger: It’ll be great
Stranger: Then send it to him
You: oh em gee, YOUR A GENIUS.
Stranger: I thought so :D
Stranger: He’ll be like HAH wow
You: thank you so much!
Stranger: You’re so welcome!
You: i don’t know where i’d be without you
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Draw a dick on her face too
Stranger: It’ll just add to it
Stranger: Then throw her in a ditch somewhere I guess..
You: hm, good idea!
Stranger: I thought so!
You: ….have you ever killed someone before?
Stranger: Many times dear girl
Stranger: I know what I am talking about
Stranger: Don’t you worry
You: okay good, that’s very heart warming
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: You’re not alone
Stranger: I haven’t been caught yet, you’ll be fine!
You: so uhm, just keep your little promise & don’t tell alex…
Stranger: Oh don’t worry
Stranger: Secret is safe with me
You: okay thanks! :D
Stranger: No problem :P
You: want to know why I had to kill lisa?
Stranger: She was a slut?
Stranger: If not, do tell
You: well… her boyfriend, alex gaskarth, my friend.. well.. she um
You: well, alex was on tour, and my friend went and hung out with him on the tour bus…
You: & well… things got a little frisky.. and well alex hasn’t found out yet
You: but my friend is 4 months preggo.
Stranger: So why did the gf need to be killed
You: and well this girl lisa, she’s crazy, she would have murdered my friend. soo we thought, why not murder her first? ya know?
Stranger: ah ok
Stranger: Makes perfect sense
Stranger: Have you kicked her?
You: my friend?
Stranger: The dead one
You: oh no, not yet. …we’ve just been tattooing her entire body with inappropriate things.
Stranger: Hahah
Stranger: That works out
You: so what happened with the person you killed?
Stranger: Well lets see
Stranger: There ws this guy that my friend really liked
Stranger: Super cute, cool guy
Stranger: It was a good choice
Stranger: So they ended up dating for a bit
Stranger: They were precious together, yakno
Stranger: then one day, he decides he’s going to go out and sleep with some slut
Stranger: Well I was having NONE of that
You: ah yes, i see
Stranger: So I took out the guy, and the slut
You: oh damn!
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I try
You: AND YOU NEVER GOT CAUGHT FOR THE BOTH OF THEM?!
Stranger: Hell no
Stranger: I made sure to make sure no DNA fell
You: HIGH FIVEEE!
Stranger: Had an alibi
Stranger: HIGH FIVE!
You: HAHA
Stranger: :D
Stranger: I hope you were careful about it
Stranger: Wash the knife
Stranger: Rubbing alcohol?
You: it’s all good, I already have. it’s been sterilized with rubbing alcohol and everything
You: oh hell yeaah
Stranger: Good job!
Stranger: If you’re smart with an alibi and with where you put the body
Stranger: should be good
You: alright thanks bud!
Stranger: No problem!
Stranger: just here to help
LOL.
ded.
Jamila. Los Angeles, CA. Sixteen. ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
